One with the Bike

This is right gnarly!

Age Before Beauty

Beautiful day out yesterday and I'd love to tell you how TB and I went out and proved all the pundits right by riding the New & Improved (errr, dumbed-down) Forest Hill Park on the road bikes, but this story takes a different turn. We picked up Clark and headed out west, and were making a pretty good clip of it up Old Gun. Well Clark looks over his shoulder and says we Have a "Bogey back." Now I've never played golf, but I did have to learn the rules (and lingo) for 10th grade phys ed, so I'm trying to remember is that 1 or two strokes over or under par. Well about that time Clark looks over his shoulder again and says "this guys coming fast!" So I'm thinking now how fast is fast cause as far as I know I'm on the wheel of the fastest guy in town right now. We about that time TB says "we'll just throw it in the big ring and see." I held TB's wheel but Clark immediately comes to grief. Well about that time this human rocket comes flying by liked a greased weasel shot out of a howitzer. This guy had an aerodynamic profile that didn't stand more than about 5 hands off the pavement. Well TB looks at me and we try to get on but by this point holding his wheel was like trying to hold Richard Gere's pet gerbil. So TB looks back and all i can do is grunt out an couple of muffled syllables something akin to "hell no!" and TB takes off. So his indecisiveness has cost him and he's got a lot of ground to cover. I don't know what happened after that, but when I finally caught up to this guy (now know as "the Greasel")at the stop light, he turns out to be like 65 years old. Bob Burch's (skinny) twin brother. For real. Southside Masters/Cat 1-level racer dude.

Well we ride some of that Salisbury loop together and we start yappin' about Forest Hill. He start in with this bit about dumbing down the trails, they're not technical anymore, etc. (we've all heard it) and the three of us gang up on him (politely) and throw in the sustainable routine, etc. Well apparently he wouldn't have much of it, he went quiet for about one minute and then dammit there he goes again! From the back and into outer space again! Again we all jump on but this guy is so tiny there ain't no draft, and again only TB can stay with him.

I could go on forever about how amazing this guy was but the moral of the story is never, ever underestimate the other rider.

2010 Ferry-Roubaix: Results, Recap, Reflections

And so it were! On a beautiful, glorious saturday morn, five riders rolled out from the line, with one jumping into the ride at mile 10, and one jumping out mile 85. The peloton worked well together all the way to the ferry, scouting some new routes along the way. We hit the Colonial Parkway and TB really started to soften up some folks. A coffee break hiding amongst the tourists of Colonial Williamsburg was well deserved. We rode all day across the back roads of New Kent, Charles City, Prince George, Surry and York Counties, and it came down to the final 50K between Scottie, Brown, Lang and Foster. Snowman felt the heat and opted to pace it out, while the late entrant, mystery-man Frank abandoned. We ran elbow to elbow through the first two gravel sections. I put in what I thought was a pretty honest pull, then Scottie and TB started to tighten the screws a little. Foster and I could not hang on in the headwind. I went into a dark place. I slowed down to eat, but never stopped. I finally caught Foster on Criss Cross Road with a flat. And luckily for him, I had a pretty kick-ass pump. As the rest of the course was my bike route to work, I felt a bit of a home field advantage. I knew exactly where to get out of the saddle on the last hill and I never sat back down. Holy shit! 120 miles. The longest ride of my life. Words may never do it justice.

Huge props to those who helped make it happen: Shannon, Glen, Sam, Blythe

1. Sunny Scottie D. (9.12.30)
2. Tony Brownclown (same time)
3. uncle foghorn (9.30.35)
4. MTN Foz (9.31.20)
5. Snowman (something like 10)
Frank (85m,8.04)


Fans came out to support their favorite riders.


5 toed the line.


New Kent bike shop.


Approaching the Benjamin Harrison Bridge.


"Hit neutral in the tail of a comet, feel the vortex pull my weight..." -Clutch


We finally figured out where he came from, but we couldn't get them to take him back.


A beautiful day on the water.


The road to Roubaix. This replica is autographed by Bob Roll. Sweet!


Foster finds out what the min 25c tire recommendation is all about. Foghorn gets a much needed break to assist and take photos.


Finishers treats.

The List

Mmmm-kay! The list of riders dwindles as the list of excuses grows. Let me break down the top 5 (excuses). These are all real, names have been withheld:

5). RACING THAT WEEKEND - It's noble, our feelings aren't hurt, but if you are thinking that somehow there is more fun and glory in riding the same 6 miles over and over and over and over, you need your head checked. (PS- it's the same 6 miles you rode last year.)

4.) HAVEN'T BEEN RIDING - Why the hell not? Snow, ice, rain - these are all merely obstacles the man has put in your path to promote his auto-centric society. Stop drinking the Kool-aid! Plus it's warmed up quite a good bit, roll down your window and check it out. We're all gonna suffer anyway.

3.) GOT A NEW JOB, WORKING WEEKENDS -We appreciate that, but call in sick

2.) I DON'T THINK I CAN FINISH - You won't know until you try! Plus, we did not ask you to think, just do! We'll put you in the sag wagon if need be. Bring your credit card.

and a well deserved top spot goes to:

1.) GETTING A COLONOSCOPY - you are indeed excused! Please send us a link to the You Tube video at your earliest convenience.