Government Protection

“I think the bicyclists ought to police each other instead of us (motorists) having to look out for them.”

– Del. Barry Knight (R – Virginia Beach), reportedly speaking in opposition to HB 1048, on the House floor, the 3 foot passing of bicycles, after he had specifically mentioned the incident in his district on the Pungo bridge where the two riders got tangled up and one went over the side and down about 35 feet into the marsh, surviving with minor injuries.

The bill did not pass in the House, it is still alive in the Senate.

Personally, I feel the same way about children.
And pedophiles.
And dogs.
And Iraq.
And motorists.

In fact, this could balance the state and local budgets quite quickly.

Sweet Treats

Well after that lackluster showing in C'ville last weekend, Scottie D. and i had to remind ourselves we did know how to ride these fairly expensive Bianchis we maintain, and what a better way to do that than reverse scout the Ferry-Roubaix route under sunny skies. Well those sunny skies worked against us early, as the gravel (read: mud) sections thawed out rather quickly. A rutted, pasty, sometimes icy, sometimes muddy route awaited, and TB & British Dave were on hand to embrace the challenge. A few well placed loads of #3 gravel (that's the big stuff), mostly on the descents, added to the excitement. TB keeps racking up the nicknames, and "Tom Boonen" seems to fit quite nicely this time of year. Those kids can party.

Anyhoo, we found ourselves at Aroma's coffee shop in Williamsburg around lunch time and let's just say there are always some sweet treats at Aroma's. 60 degrees and sunny didn't hurt. Lil' Miss Sun Dress even made a showing, a fine showing indeed. I've seen thong bikinis with more coverage. I was not aware of the worldwide shortage of cotton. Thinly veiled attempts to sneak a photo via camera phone were not successful. If they were, you know you'd see it here first.

The ride home saw a jaunt down the Colonial Parkway (headwind, anyone?), absolute terrorization of the new Capital Trail, and a short tour of the backroads of Charles City and New Kent Counties. We slowly came to the realization that this little ride was going to be a century. We ended said century in style with a six pack of Legend Brown. Literally, we bypassed the house, rode straight to the store, and ended the ride carrying the Legend Brown. A seven pack of Brown if you include Tony Brown toting the Brown. Appropriate.

What a great group. Everybody suffers with such style, nobody is willing to let the true pain show. Technically I ended with like 99.2, but my computer died around 97, so we'll never know. Couple of dorks had to do some laps around the neighborhood to get their hundred. Seemed frivolous to me, i just dove into the bevvies.

Hand Crafted & Sweaty

If you like someone to sweat over your beer before you drink it, do this on Sunday.



If you like someone to sweat over your bike before you sweat all over it, try this next weekend. Foghorn will most likely be there Saturday with the tykes. Save 25% online, kids under 6 are free all weekend.

Valentine's Day Massacre

Maggie got a mediocre 4th in the Pine Car Derby, "I just hope we don't get last, Daddy," she quipped. Dad was not such an overachiever. I wrapped up the weekend with a DFL in the Pantani Ride.The Pantani Ride - Short Course, was as advertised: a lung busting suffer-fest in the most miserable conditions. Ice, snow, slush, mud, hills (oh god, the hills), cold, wind-all the critical elements. Local speak of two snow plows and the tow truck that tried to rescue them stuck on the Simmons Mtn loop led to the revision. Dave Tevendale is a heck of a guy and hosted a fine, if sparsely attended, event. 8 of these guys rolled out hot from the gun, and Uncle Foghorn was tastin' his breakfast at like mile 3. Foghorn quickly found himself chasing the chase group. Dave regrouped the guys in the back including Foghorn and Scottie D. and we all had a fine time. Pretty soon 5 became 7 as we picked up a couple of wanderers including J. Mac. the battle for 2nd was hotly contested, but Foghorn's fate was sealed with a flat 2 miles from home.



Barnyard Intern Scottie D. earned a full time position with Foghorn Leghorn Productions for scoping the event and keeping the hype up. I snapped his photo at the crest of Fox Mtn Road in celebration.

2010 Ferry-Roubaix is on! April 10.

The problem with a Spring Classic, is that it occurs in the spring. Therefore, training (including riding, people), must be performed in the winter. DO NOT look out the window at this time. You can see that Foghorn is being served frozen not fresh this winter. Foghorn has endured the elements like Cornelius Yukon. The Foghorn team has traveled great distances to suffer at the hands of superior foes. Foghorn has hit the ice more time than he cares to remember. Even the Donner party would say Foghorn has had a rough winter.

Seeing the big thaw on the horizon, Foghorn has been working behind the scenes as well. Foghorn is rallying the movers, the shakers, the organizers: all the "little people" who make a big party happen. We think we will have a little something for everyone. So pack up the family (or whoever's kids those are), chart a course out of the city, and make plans to get your tail feathers out to New Kent County on April 10.This year we have a new director sportif, Rayn Rock, an expert in the organizational sciences. We're throwing down a pre-ride pancake breakfast. Ann Hardy is helping out on the short course. The Brown Recluse is leading the long course. Both routes will ride neutral, regroup for lunch, then we will have the final 50k marked & flagged in case things at the front get "spirited". New FLP full timer Scottie D. is busy tooling right now with the industrial metal press and a pencil grinder on some kick-ass finishers prizes (if you are the proud owner of a New Years 50/50 bottle opener, you know what I'm talkin' bout). Doubling his salary has really been an effective motivator.

"What can I do to become a pat of this historic event?" , you ask. Foghorn needs your help as well. You have 49 days to whip your poultry ass into shape (you should be ashamed of yourself, you look like shit). You need to get back to Foghorn and state your intentions. Letters of intent are being accepted, but smack is the sincerest form of flattery here, people. Call out your riding buddies, and let your mouth write a check your ass will have to cash later. All closet trainer riders must be outed!

As with all FLP events, it'll never cost more than a 6 pack to ride. More details will trickle out in the coming weeks, and I am sure Mr & Mrs Superzero over at Xtranormal will have something to say about this.

Get back to us so we can count you "IN"!

Building A Super Light Racer

Yup. European style. Only weighs 3 oz.

Maggie's helping. She did a ton of sanding, a coat of spray paint, she added the stripe and the stickers. She put on the wheels and added the secret sauce - graphite. 100% organic. Not just on the axles, she covered the whole damn thing in graphite. I was actually quite proud of the work she put in.



Now we're going down to the Baptist Church to kick some ass in the Awana Pine Car Derby! I'm a bad loser and an even worse winner, so I'm brushing up on my smack talk. Actually a bit nervous about going into church, you know Foghorn is a sinner, not a repenter. If there is divine intervention in this event, it probably won't go my way. Jesus would be doing me a big favor if we lost in the first heat and got to come home early. I'll defer that divine intervention until tomorrow's icy/snowy/slushy/muddy Pantani Ride, which ain't gonna go my way either. Nothing quite like riding off into the unknown, under your own power.

In too deep

Had to give myself a taste of what this Pantani RIde might be all about, so I suited up and commuted today. Criss Cross Road did not disappoint! Also refining the studded tires. Scottie D. hooked me up with some adhesive that has probably landed me on an EPA watch list. Liner installed, one tire is ready for the ride home. One fucking studded tire, what a douche! And toting a perfectly good (sort of) tire in my backpack, double douche! Pretty much all the ice had melted by afternoon, so one fucking studded tire flinging asphalt the whole way home-triple dog douche! It will be 2 studded tires by tomorrow. But no commute. The VDOT pinhole patching crew has been dispatched.

So there is some suspicion that the Pantani may be unrideable, that we are suckers for a set up, that we don't understand the forces we are dealing with and we are in over our heads. Way over. I personally have been riding over my head for a couple of years now, so if I curl up in the fetal position in a snowbank somewhere northwest of C'ville it wont be too suprising. In any event, we are a barnyard divided. The rooster will roll & the old goat too, but the horse has bailed. Duck and pig never really were a factor.

Ice Bowl 2010

The Super Bowl Sunday Ride was salvaged. I don't know how it went in H'burg, but I can't imagine it went well. After riding uphill all day with the Merchant of Misery, TB, I couldn't imagine going any farther or deeper. Met up with barnyard intern, Scottie Super D. on Belle Isle. He is between semesters so he was allowed off the farm.

Then we all found Buttermilk. As if the hand of God himself had come down and carved a packed groove in the snow. A foot wide, six inches deep, it was like a bobsled run. Turns out there was a trail run yesterday which got things broken in nicely.

I took the initiative and knocked all the snow off the low hanging branches, and also managed to lay 'er down at least half a dozen times. Most were soft landings but I went down hard trying to outrun traffic on Riverside Drive. Fortunately I have managed to get several Sierra Nevadas in me before the pain set in.

Right, Scottie D. busts a stone cold groove on Buttermilk.

I know there's a warmer place

Rode with the Brown Recluse again last evening. He only comes out when the weather is at it's worst. True Belgian shit: wet, slushy, icy, snowy, rainy, muddy cobblestones. JPN-just plain nasty. As usual, the attacks came early & often, and always under the worst conditions.

I hear it's a little warmer out in the mountains...

Speaking of which, we are staging an alternate Super Bowl Sunday event. Something local, something simple. I can't see H'burg being rideable, or even drivable. If it was, I would be skiing right now.

Suck it up, Roy

Rooster's mountain kin the Hokies took the defending National Champs to B'ball school last night. 74-70. Hells yes! So if you went to Carolina or you like Carolina or you are from Carolina or your name happens to be Caroline, SUCK IT UP! Your team is just not that good this year. I know, I know, rebuilding year, blah, blah, blah... Still feels good to beat on ya. It's a rebuilding year in Haiti too, they don't take much consolation in it.

Getting Started...

I guess it's presumptive to think that anybody gives a rat's ass, but I discovered this bloggy tool and I thought I'd give it a try. Good way to get the gospel of Foghorn out there, I guess, and to advertise the events. Also a clear indication of the amount of snow currently on the ground, and me spending way too much time on the computer.

Logged about 30 miles on the snow bike over the long weekend, and I must say it gave me a thorough shagging. Training with Antawne Van der Weide (right), Dutch Snowcross National Champion, didn't help either. Nearly died (twice) getting this shot. Made my own snow tires, you can see how to make your own here:

http://www.dirtragmag.com/blogarific/bicycle-ice-racing-toronto-style/

I actually had them in production before I saw the article, honest. Be forewarned, I went the non-tubeless route (old slick tire for liner and thorn proof tubes just in case) plus 100 screws per tire, and they are heavy. A lot of torque to get those babies moving, rotational mass & all that being what it is. Incomparable on the slick ice though.

So hopefully we'll be able to keep it all together, share a few stories, a few pics, and a few beers. I can bitch about work, family, the wife (sorry dear), etc. and nobody really has to listen. You can chime in and say whatever the hell you like.

Mark the calendar, save the date, change your plans, do whatever you gotta do. Ferry-Roubaix, April 10.

Cheers!